Ever say anything to embarrass your kids or make them scratch their heads? That's a #momquote. And homeschooling moms are a unique breed, capable of producing a never-ending stream of repeatable, humorous #momquotes. But hey, we won't judge. After all, you are literally the chauffeur, cook, teacher, school nurse, and mediator supreme. You've got a lot on your plate.
When People Ask Snarky Questions
What homeschooling mom hasn't been asked an annoying question about homeschooling? From that annoying 's' word (yes, we mean socialization), to other people's overly curious concerns about our qualifications, to questions like, "What about the prom?" Hey - we're not saying be rude, but a little snark back might shut them up. . .or at least make you feel better.
- When someone asked my mom about socialization she's like, "Shoot! I knew I forgot something!" #momthinkssheisfunny
- Socialization? That's what their siblings are for.
- Is your insulting commentary on my school choice exemplary of the kind of socialization they teach you in public school?
- Well, they might not be socialized, but homeschooling was much easier to do than getting them ready for the bus!
- To assign grades, we just flip a coin.
- Am I qualified? Why? Are you looking for a tutor? #dissed #pwned
- Lady: "Aren't you worried they can't handle the real world?" Mom: "Do we look like we're from Alderaan?"
- My mom told someone we never go out. She said it was easier than explaining what co-op is to a public schooler. #coopisjusthardtoexplain
- Homeschoolers are maladjusted? Tell me more about the bullying going on in your school. #sarcasticmomforthewin
- Yeah. We chose to homeschool because we love our kids more than other parents love theirs. #ouch #burn
- No worries - we make fun of public school kids too.
On Living Life
When you homeschool, life and schoolwork all intermesh in one seamless activity. And by seamless activity we mean. . .interwoven, non-stop, utter chaos.
- Hurry up and clear the breakfast dishes so we can start school. #kitchentablehomeschool
- My mom made us watch the movie, Inside Out, and called it psychology credit.
- Clean your room! It counts. . .it's home economics.
I heard my mom tell my dad, "Sorry about the house! Cleaning it while the kids are home is like raking leaves with the wind blowing."
Getting you children out the door on time for co-op is like herding cats. #herdingcatsisreallyhard
My mom finally gets a break, and she's like, "Let me go reorganize the homeschool room."
My mom told my little sister that a snow day is when you start homeschooling by shoveling the driveway.
Mom says the grocery store is a math field trip.
Sick day? No - you can still watch educational videos.
School? No! It's Box Day, I'm too excited to teach! #newcurriculum #boxdayfun
I'm this school's dean, not the janitor. You take out the trash.
When the Kids Complain About Homeschooling
Um. . .all kids love homeschool. . .all the time. So you should probably just skip over this section. No need to remind your kids how awesome homeschooling is at your house, (said no. homeschooling. mom. ever).
When I complained I didn't like lunch, my mom said, "At least it's not school cafeteria food."
My mom threatened to suspend me by sending me to public school for a few days. #anythingbutpublicschool
I complained I didn't want to wake up and get dressed. Mom said, "Be thankful that when you wake up, you are already in school." Really, Mom?
Hey, at least you don't have to raise your hand to go to the bathroom.
Hey, don't worry that you didn't get the math problem. Five out of four people struggle with math, so you're in good company. #momsnotsogoodatmatheither
Hey, if we ever have a zombie apocalypse, public schoolers are going to wish they were taught medieval weaponry. #justificationfails #whyarewestudyingthis
I homeschool you so you can be a strong, independent thinker. I want you to do that after you move out, though.
Don't think of it as chore day for you, think of it as teacher in-service for me.
On Homeschooling Awkwardness
Let's face it. There are plenty of times where we moms are just plain awkward, maybe even more so than our kids.
- Prom? Of course you can have a prom! We'll just push the furniture in the living room out of the way.
- I asked my mom what grade I'm in. She said she wasn't sure either.
- Me: "Are you talking to yourself?" Mom: "No, I'm having a parent-teacher conference." #quickasawhipthatmom
- My mom just called our school principal 'hot.' #grossparents
- Oh, it's okay to use big words with my kids. We homeschool. #stopbraggingmom
- Clerk: "Oh? No school today?" Mom: "We homeschool." Clerk: *blank expression* "Huh?" Mom: "Yeah, no school today." #storetripscountasschool
- My mom hands me a photo album and says it's my yearbook. It's me and my three siblings. #notayearbook
- Sorry, just ignore the worm box and frog eggs on the table. We do science in the kitchen.
- At the butcher shop: Do you have cow eyeball? We need it for class. #dissection #homeschoolsciencelab
- Someone asked my mom what the best part of homeschooling was and she said, "Bedtime."
Embrace the Journey
It's true - you may say things that make your kids cringe or crack them up. . .but the bottom line is that this crazy journey is filled with ups, downs, curves and turns. Embrace the journey with all of its unpredictability and most importantly, don't take yourself too seriously.